i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
