he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
