win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
