bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
