Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.