that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
