Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"