my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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