For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit