all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
