Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
