Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize