She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
