Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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