chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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