Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize