he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
