I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
