i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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