I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
