Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
the raccoons are back...
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