I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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