so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
