No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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