when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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