I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
