it wasn't lemon gatorade
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
