I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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