rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
