Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
