I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
