you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize