Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
