Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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