We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize