ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼‍♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
