Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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