Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
