"it" just moved
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
