Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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