Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ttyl tear gas
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
