Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize