Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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