Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
