I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
