Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I smell stomach acid.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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