Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
