your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
