hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
