My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body