It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.