11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.