It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.