She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.