Don't you send me to vm
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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