Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
