the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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