Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
