So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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