BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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