i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think your dad took our porno
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
