He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
