So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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