Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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