i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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