Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
