you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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